Not Sex and the City

Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year! Did you catch one of those sales and get a great deal? I know I did. I bought this pink croquet-ed Arden B. dress (originally a $59.99 value!) for $23.59. For my facebook friends and all of two followers, I realize that I haven't written for three months. There's plenty to catch up on!

My battles with organizational culture are largely over - I tend to just do what I believe is my job and ignore the rest nowadays. I managed to stay with this fourth supervisor - thank goodness! Tasks are being taken care of, despite everyone's misgivings over who does what, how to say so-and-so, and territorial boundaries. I organized the student database, monitor (and troubleshoot, when devil magic happens) the school's one hundred and eighty computers, and fulfill the legal technology requirements for this charter school.

On the first day that I arrived at Phoenix Charter Academy, the internet was down. I hadn't gotten a chance to know every face and the building, much less the school's network yet, but the pressure was on already. "Fix the internet," someone suggested to me. Such a warm welcome.

When the internet was finally okay after three long days, then the next big project was to fix the phones. Having called Comcast and CBE, I suddenly got a crash course on IT phone networking, and the way that it is not on the same network as the internet. Each phone is connected to an ethernet wall jack, which is connected to a large switch box (like a router but for phones) and there were more phones than there were empty switch holes, so I had to change around the wires to fit everything.

While these two projects were going on, there are consistently staff members who use other people's laptops to send emails to me to complain about how sometimes they can't get internet, or the laptops don't start, or the screen is black. This happens especially often when one of the members of the "data team" has me administer online surveys to the students about their feelings while in school.

I am this school's current IT department. I'm making up the rules as I go.

Oh yea, how about that hurricane Sandy? She knocked out five of our servers, so that when the school opened up again, none of the teachers can print anything, and it was four hours of panic, and then a huge meeting about preparedness at the end of the week. I had to find those programs - all virtual operating systems, by the way - and put them back online, because Sandy created a momentary blackout.

Or two weeks ago, right before Christmas, when three teachers spilled drinks on their laptops when they were lesson planning at home. As Britney Spears once sang, "Are you kidding me?" I had to disassemble them to wipe the insides up and then spray them with pressurized hydrogen or something to clean it all up. Not everything was saved, but I did my best. Taking apart computers was my idea, but Phoenix Charter Academy isn't training me. My asking the right questions to three or four IT staff members from other organizations is.

I'm really enjoying this vacation, though. Hanging out with people almost every day, learning about the better eats and places of Boston with a group of people I've recently begun to get closer to. There's a chocolate restaurant, did you know that? There are also two really good art museums. A pretty man showed me that there's such an item as Christmas rap. That's right, not wrap - rap.

Happy holidays, everyone.

Trying to Settle In

More than a month has passed since the last post, and I now have a much better idea of what this job (or community service?) entails. Words can't simply describe one's experiences at Phoenix Charter Academy. Nevertheless, I will try.

In answer to the last post: No, I am not ready to be a model citizen for teenagers who have been dubbed "truant" by a handful of Boston Public Schools. The reasons for this are as follows.

One: I have to make a conscious effort to dress professionally, because I must think about how the students view me. I've been reprimanded for some leggings being too shiny, and the skirt over the leggings being too short.

Two: I am unable to transition into speaking in a politically correct manner without feeling disingenuous. Those who know me well would tell you that I tend to sincerely say whatever I am thinking, but strangers who are unused to this manner would find it invasive, insensitive, and rude.

Three: Ever since coming back from South Korea, I've noticed that I tend to stand closer to friends than I mean to, and students may find this uncomfortable. Other examples are, if I see a student listening to music when he shouldn't be, I would pluck his earbuds out of his ears and tell him to put them away. However, he would say, "Don't touch my stuff like that." So I get in trouble for allegedly "touching" the students, when no direct contact was made - what I actually touch are an inch of fabric off the sleeve of a shirt, the rim of a cap, or the wire of a pair of earbuds.

Or maybe both the staff and the students are very possessive of their respective spaces. On the first day of school, I put my backpack and laptop on someone else's desk while I work on a task. She shows up and waits for me to leave. But then, another lady assigns me work and not a space to do it, so I say, oh sorry, now I have to stay here, because now there's more stuff to do. The first lady stomps off. The second lady was not aware of this at all. The third lady was my then-supervisor who yelled at me over GChat for allegedly squatting because "she should have first dibs on her desk".

This same then-supervisor would dismiss me verbally from the room when I'm trying to wait for something to happen in a program on the computer that I'm setting up for her. She would feel that I'm hovering. She was my first supervisor. By some strange trick of fate, my current supervisor is my fourth supervisor. My second supervisor is off campus a lot, and would also either ignore an email or dismiss my presence. My third supervisor did the same thing. I'm happy with my current supervisor because she is around, and even though she is busier than the first two supervisors combined, she still makes time in her schedule for me and is super organized. The principal made clear that I need a supervisor because I have absolutely no authority to make decisions on my own.

I am very grateful for this particular obstacle to be over, especially because there are additional challenges in the rest of my job. Despite all of this, I'm not unhappy - at least I have a job. While I wish it were more sustainable, it will do for now. I also have other big decisions to make out of work regarding where I live and all that - human decisions. The transition from being a dependent to being a real person on her own seems to be a long drawn-out one.

The Bell Tolls - Korea, Round Two, Fight!

Driving to Cheongju took 4 hrs, mainly because there was some traffic due to an accident along the way. The former coteacher put on a Korean American radio station, which narrated in English but mixed in some old Korean songs. When reception ran out, he put on a tape about how foreigners view Koreans that was still sympathetic to the Koreans. I feel like there should be more literature telling the natives here how to deal with foreigner presence, because people have run away from me because I was speaking English before.

The Cheongju Express Bus Terminal was next to a building called Dream Plus, and it was tiny. The waiting area only had roughly 8 benches. I sat down to surf around on the netbook using Samsung wi-fi while waiting for my recruiter John Yoon, mentioned before here. I spoke to an old American tourist couple in the meantime about the crafts fair that happens here every year the last two weeks of September. Mr. Yoon arrived maybe an hour and a half later - I was really early despite the traffic - and he called my employer after greetings.

The owner of the private academy turned out to be a short skinny and well intentioned man, Mr. Min. We went straight to TOPIA, where he and Mr. Yoon talked for a bit, and I was introduced to my two handlers, Alex and Yvonne. They're both nice and very businesslike women. Yvonne is more outgoing than Alex, and I assume more high ranking as well. When I start teaching, I'm going to spend a few hours on that website everyday, entering homework assignments, readings and student grades.

Afterwards, they showed me my apartment - which was happily less than ten minutes walking away from my work place, and only a few minutes walking to two bus stops as well. It had security, was convenient, definitely big enough... but had absolutely no furniture save the bed. I need to walk around and familiarize myself with the area anyway, but this forces me to go out since I need furniture to put clothes in. Yvonne and Mr. Min did say that they'd provide me with a desk, which they followed up on about a week later, and they bought me a chair to go with it, as well as an end table and a mirror, as well. Anyway, that day they told me to rest, and that two hours later, I should eat dinner with Yvonne and Mr. Min.

As was practical, I spent the two hours setting up my bed, letting my cat roam the apartment, and putting all my necessaries in the bathroom. Then I went to eat dinner with my superiors. Mr. Min is a nice guy who has some grasp of English, but mainly relies on Yvonne to do his speaking for him. She is a powerful woman - short, skinny, pretty and very charismatic. It's hard not to like her, and it's people like her that make you want to work for a company, even if it's a corporate franchise - and every corporation in the U.S. and Korea practically comes with a warning label.

After dinner, she wants to see how I'm living, so we talked for a bit more in my apartment. She seemed satisfied and left, but two hours later I discovered that the gas had not been turned on, and I'd be too cold to take a shower. When I called her about it, she came to investigate immediately - if you're working for someone who works that hard herself, how could I bear to disappoint? She called the gas company, and they said that this apartment doesn't have an account currently, so they'll fix it the next day. She was irritated at it, and I said that was fine, except that I felt really dirty. She was nice enough to let me stay at a hotel for the night and shower there, though I hadn't unpacked anything so I still couldn't arrive in nice clothes the next day.

After the first day of observation, they asked me how it was and I gave them my initial impressions. They seemed happy to know that I'm somewhat comfortable with it. They also told me to dress more formally, which in my head translated to "Try harder." I guess it was reasonable, since I was in a long sleeved plain tee without makeup and had on trainers (long exercise pants). The next day, I wore a short dress with black tights with a long pendant necklace as per Korean fashion, and also put in my contact lenses. The way people viewed and treated me differently was very immediate. I was no longer invisible; it was like I materialized out of thin air.

I got to know my coworkers' names not only from introductions, but also from having to observe their classes. I noted the differences in each of their teaching styles, as well as the actions they all have in common, which I took to be habits that I should cultivate. I preferred the more businesslike demeanor of two of the female teachers who still bantered with the students and have great senses of humors. There are also more women at this private academy than men, and the two new hires are also Korean American women. I wonder if they thought I was Korean American. (I'm going to wager that I was chosen based on my recruiter's advertising, my previous one-year experience, and looks, though.)

Each teacher carried around a case of chalk, a board eraser, an audio wire, flash cards if they use them, extra pens and highlighters, and maybe a notebook for remembering things. They used their laptops when the book comes with a cd track that they might use, and also make marks in the attendance record for that class, as well as the homework record. Textbooks are par for the course in an academy, because the curriculum, timeline and syllabus are already all set. There are cameras in every classroom, which are live fed to the tv in front of the receptionist desk for all to see. The staff has a more cajoling American manner in terms of educating the kids, and everything is somewhat tightly controlled - but not unreasonably, so far as I can see.

They took me to immigration on Thursday, where I had pictures taken - I was wearing a new shirt, yay! - and they wrote my new address on the back of my Alien Registration Card. Apparently, that's all that's necessary to consider my E-2 visa renewed for now, though they did say that I should submit my national criminal background check whenever I can, since I told them that it was in progress and the U.S. FBI should be processing it now. I honestly actually don't even know when I should be expecting it. I applied in August, so November or December, maybe? Anyway, now I can do useful things like get a phone plan. I've been surviving off of using prepaid phone cards.

Aside from visiting Daejeon this past weekend, I also bought and installed a small bookcase - which became a shirts dresser for me - and a clothing rack. I'm finished with unpacking half of the spare bags and two of my suitcases - two more await. I still need more furniture because there must needs to be a place to store my pants, which I will take care of ASAP. I will also teach my first classes tomorrow (to substitute for a guy who is filling in a cavity and getting his wisdom teeth pulled), and I think I'm ready too, so wish me luck. =)

An Intersection of Culture in Everyone

DISCLAIMER: If I stereotype people or sound racist at any time during this post, I'm sorry and I don't mean any harm. It's just to get a point across.

Taking a taxi cab ride back from Shihwa Emart, I had yet another conversation with another driver - probably because driving a taxi is not the most exciting job on the planet, so they enjoy talking to their clients when there's something interesting about them, and when their language skills are up to par. This time it was because I had in arm a box of cleaning supplies half my size, so taking the bus to downtown Daebudo would not be enough to get me home even though I have a bike parked there at the moment. This driver, like a handful of other drivers, asked me where I was from, and then whether I was Korean American.

Conversations like these happen to me a lot. I hypothesize that, aside from a few key areas in Seoul, there aren't that many foreigners in Korean daily life - especially not out here, in the countryside, and they're curious. So after I tell them, no, I'm Chinese American, I get a range of reactions. Usually, it would be disinterest, and then the conversation would be over. I never knew why until today. This driver told me that he felt Koreans judged the Chinese based on the few handful of them who have immigrated here to South Korea for a better quality of life. The Korean Chinese people he's met, he told me, didn't seem very intelligent.

You can imagine why this was a very odd thing for me to hear. I didn't debate with him because I lacked the communication skills and didn't want to offend him, but I really didn't understand how the Chinese in mainland China would be all that different from Korean Chinese people if all they did was immigrate here. Let me take a moment here to clarify what I think are the key differences in Chinese culture and Korean culture today. (All Asians look the same! It's such an old joke, really.)

The old Confucian beliefs in ancestor worship, bowing and the idea that elders know better are rapidly dying in China now, whereas they seem to be very much alive in South Korea. While the Chinese government has been carefully monitoring the internet for fear of dissension, internet freedom is so free here that there are almost no copyright laws, which means that most international media creators won't allow a lot of their work here for fear that it'd be stolen. The feminist movement is far more under way in China than it is here in South Korea. The Chinese trade industry focuses on whatever it can get its hands on, whereas the South Korean trade focuses on computers, cars, televisions and small electronics. Chinese cooking is very varied, and there aren't nearly as many side dishes. So these are a few differences. (I can't tell the difference between Irish, Scottish and Swedish either, honestly. Sorry, Europeans.)

Swinging back to what the taxi driver was saying, hearing that he thought Korean Chinese aren't very bright is a huge contrast to back home where Asian people - the majority of which are Chinese Americans - are the model minority. The stereotype probably came from wealthy Chinese families who kept the academic culture of severely pushing their children to achieve high grades because they believe in the value of education. This still exists to some extent today (further extrapolated on in Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother). However, most Chinese American parents I've met are more like mine - there's a lot of nagging to do well in school, but rarely are there beatings, and the parenting style is moreso an overwhelming - overbearing? haha - concern rather than a domineering strictness where failure is met with punishment.

My parents, unlike most Chinese American parents, however, are still starkly Maoist-Communist. It's an odd ideology to come home to, when the chapter in World History from eighth grade was mainly about how (before China was invaded by Japan and millions of both Korean and Chinese women were made into comfort women) Mao Zedong was rapidly destroying China through his Five Year Plans because he didn't actually know anything about mining or that kind of technology, and millions of people were starving because they were trying to keep up with his quotas. Or the way he grew old and senile and paranoid, so he killed a lot of people who he thought was trying to wrestle power from him.

What my mother grew up in, however, was a beautifully engineered propaganda program where people's lives were great and prosperous because of Mao's ideas, and furthermore, most importantly, they were united with strong family values. Family is family, and a bunch of families together form a community, and these are the things that people relied on, in a fast-paced world of industrialization, Westernization, communism-to-capitalism ideology and globalization. This is similar to the way I grew up being told that I can be whatever I want to be, life is going to be easy because I'm an American, and that all I really need to do is be curious, learn, and do a lot of soul searching. (How's that economy holding up, America? If the rich still refuse to pay taxes and help, and there are still no jobs being created, some Robin Hoods are going to start popping up everywhere.)

This cab driver wasn't interested in America, like most of the other drivers were. He told me he really respected the Chinese, because they are a strong and humble people. (I thanked him, but is that really true? I'm not mainland Chinese enough to actually know?) He thought that my parents must have had a strict upbringing, therefore I must have had one too. (I said I did, but not really - I was never beaten, and my mother's main concern was that I don't starve. I eat! Why doesn't anyone believe me?)

My mother probably had a strict childhood, though. She was the only girl among three brothers, so while she can take rough and tumble like any tomboy, she was the designated secondary caretaker in the family when my grandmother was ill or otherwise absent. The oldest son was allowed to go to London with my grandfather to get a European education and get interested in computers. So my mother did all the yelling and screaming and disciplining, which means that she must have had to have been the model child. The humility part might have been true of my mother - she accepted everything life threw at her, wrapping her mind around everything she couldn't understand or change; the only place she would have things absolutely her way was the kitchen.

This is as opposed to the American international policy, where we must have our way everywhere because we must know better. In my country's defense, Americans have really good intentions to the point of almost being naive. Or opposed to the South Korean policy towards all foreigners: our country, our rules, and we don't really care if it doesn't make sense to you, as long as it makes sense to us. But your army still needs to stay here to protect us from the North Koreans, because we can't talk to them when that crazy man is running things over there. Or even the Chinese international policy: did you want to buy something from us? If yes, fabulous, if no, well what did you want? We have a hard enough time dealing with our factories, pollution and overpopulation as is, we don't care about your country's take on how we're doing things, screw off. Shut up about human rights, worry about your own like Walmart and Microsoft and McDonalds first. We don't want to hear it.

I'm Chinese American. When most people look at me, they see an Asian woman. When they talk to me, I find that they tend to emphasize one of my cultures over the other. When I look at myself, I see an American heavily influenced by Chinese ideas in a small, moderately active Southeast Asian body. When I talk to myself, I think I should learn Mandarin - I speak Cantonese - and write the language so that I can either become an interpreter, a teacher or a cutthroat businesswoman.

(Said in an old lady's voice with mock Chinese accent - One More Thing: We might have talked before, I can't remember ...)

South Korean Fashion

This time, I distinguished between North and South Korea because I haven't had a chance to visit North Korea, and also I hear that the Kim Jong Il personality cult doesn't allow for much freedom of expression, so I assume this would be true in terms of fashion, as well. The two countries are getting farther apart culturally the longer they remain separated, so despite all attempts at conversation, they will now have to deal with a new invisible barrier between them.

Nevertheless, Seoul is one of the fashion capitals of the world, not far after Paris and New York City. Of course, the leaders of the fashion industry are the pop stars and actors who dominate the small screen, and sometimes even the big screen. My personal favorites among them are 4minute, 2PM, Big Bang, Girls' Generation, and Taeyang. While there are individual artists, they generally start out performing with other people until their names are better known. G-Dragon and Hyuna are two good examples.

Starting with the hair, almost everyone here has bangs. They just don't like to show their foreheads and like to try to emphasize their eyes. With the face, large eyes with the crease in the eyelids are favored, paired with a small to medium sized nose, and everyone loves a pair of luscious lips. Skin wise, Koreans like their complexions very pale, so they avoid the sun unless they are farmers, fishermen, or other types of laborers. Like with other countries, this is more of a class issue. However, Korean women have a kind of cream that they put on their faces, with other makeup, daily to make sure their skin is light enough to be fashionable. They aim for a healthy looking complexion that ideally glows.

In terms of body types, most Koreans are very skinny, especially compared to Americans. Women are generally just skinny unless they were born with a bigger body type, which they would be continuously ridiculed for throughout their childhoods. Men have skinny, slim - which really muscular - or business, which is kind of a Buddha body type lite. Unless they are athletes or labor workers, no one generally exercises. They drive wherever they go, there are taxis around, and when they're not working twelve hours a day or having fun singing, drinking or at some event, they just kind of sit. There's the television and lots of video games to occupy them. Video games seem to be an activity that people of all ages partake in here.

A few days ago, a few of my teachers were poking at my shins and asking me why they are so hard. I didn't understand the question, so I poked them back and sure enough, their shins are really soft. Like there's bone, and then soft flesh. I told them that I have dry skin, yes, but also that my legs are made of muscle from walking everywhere and so often. And biking, as well. They oohed and aahed. This was particularly funny to me, because I am not fit. I am very skinny, yes, but I can develop more strength in my core and glutes. The fact that they literally have no muscle unless they are labor workers puzzle me, because they still do the things normal people do, like carry groceries, wash dishes, clean the floors, etc. How can a person not develop muscle from managing a house daily?

And even their houses are very fashionable. Things are put away, clutter is always discouraged - because they believe that a cluttered desk or room is evidence of the owner's cluttered mind. Interesting connection, right? So you would never find clothes strewn all over a Korean floor.

Since I'm Chinese American, I can fit into most of this clothing, and have been earning enough money, that I can afford to experiment a little bit here and there with everything. For the women, their tops are very loose - nothing like the tight tank tops that Americans sometimes wear. While tight tank tops are sold here, they are considered undershirts or kind of street trashy wear. Revealing cleavage is very much frowned upon. Because Asian women have a different body build, almost all the bras here fit breast sizes AA to B, maybe rarely a C. Oh, and I love Korean panties. I'm not sure what kind of fabric they use, but it's very smooth and deal with sweat and wetness exceedingly well. Part of this must have to do with the great technology and temperate climate they have here. Skinny jeans and short shorts are very common here. The women here have no problem revealing their legs. In the winter, long black panty hose is also favored. There are many styles of socks, including these fuzzy socks that are comfortable and good for winter. There's almost an infinite number of styles for shoes, more than half of them high heels taller than two and a half inches.

Young Korean men sport tight pants as well, though this is no longer true once he enters either the army - military draft is mandatory here - or goes into the work force. Men, as usual, don't have as many fashion choices as women do, but here they seem to have more comfortable athletic pants options, as well as many more styles of sneakers. I've been told that the men's underwear are also very smooth, absorbent and comfortable. There's this booklet at every mall for tips on how to pair the right colors and patterns between collared shirts and ties. They generally pair vests and sweaters with white collared shirts for business wear, and there's the general tshirt and jeans or athletic wear for other days. There are more styles of tshirts or long sleeve shirts than I've seen in America.

Now, Nobody I've seen from other countries can accessorize like a Korean, and I mean that in the most magazine girlish voice possible. For women, there are a good number of hair ornaments, from elastics to head bands, to clips. There's also earrings for those with holes in their earlobes, though holes elsewhere like noses and the tips of one's ears are generally reserved for performers or rebellious youth. There's of course a good number of necklaces and pendants to go with the plainer shirts or dresses. Men sometimes wear earrings and necklaces too. Both genders can wear rings on their fingers, ranging from plastic to karat gold. Styles of belts are many, but if people wear anklets, I have not seen them. There's also color contacts, glasses, the whole routine of makeup, tattoos (rarely) and nail polish. And that's just on their bodies.

Off their bodies, some of the clothing come with accessories, like suspenders, or pockets in various places where even the insides are decorated. Jackets keep them warm in colder weather, and can be worn around the waist, around the shoulders or draped over some furniture showing off. Sometimes there are arm coolers in the summer, made of some fabric that supposedly really does cool you off. There's a really impressive array of styles for purses and bags, which seem to be unisex generally. Everyone from someone who's six years old to the oldest person you see on the subway has a cell phone. On these cell phones and their purses are various charms that you can buy at almost any store in Korea. There are anime or cartoon icons, random fluffy animals, other symbols - almost anything can be found. Koreans match the colors of these charms to their phones and bags. Some phone charms have uses, like my Hello Kitty that has a memory chip inside of it for taking the subway, or a USB, or a stylus/antennae that makes using the phone itself easier.

Everything comes in fairly bright colors for the young, which seem to either go into the extremes of neon or just fade into gray and black as the people wearing them get older. The people here care a lot about their personal sense of style because they're status symbols, and also because they don't really get to express their personalities much in other areas of life.

Ideas on Neatness and Purity

Because of the largely still evident influences from ancient Confucian China, South Korea can be a somewhat traditional society depending on the area of the country you are working in and the number of older Koreans that you have talked to.

In the United States where I'm from, Boston specifically, the standards on neatness and personal cleanliness are more dictated by what is kosher in business. Business casual or more formal is recommended at all times when in the view of one's employees and employers, unless the place you are working for specifically says otherwise or you have a uniform to don every time you go to work.

In South Korea, people are taught from a young age (as young as age five or six), not to have messy hair, or to cover it up with a hat if you do. Stains and lint on one's clothing are marks of bad taste. While no one would say anything about wrinkled shirts, it is not recommended. Many women always wear makeup, especially if they have pimples (which they call "trouble") or birth marks to cover up on their faces. Almost everyone has a fairly developed fashion sense, so one would be hard put to find anyone who wears clothing with clashing colors. This goes for the men as well, though it's true that a certain point after retirement, old women might stop caring nearly as much.

Even the shoes are kept clean. My Korean washing machine has a setting that's just for washing shoes. They make a distinction between outdoor shoes and indoor shoes. While I choose not to abide by it, I'm supposed to wear socks with slippers at work, or these closed toe slippers that is easy to find in any random fashion and school supplies store. My coteacher had told me that it is impolite for people to show bare feet outside of their own homes, but since spring is here and summer is coming, I've been seeing a lot of open toed sandals and even flip flops, so I believe that these social constraints are loosening to the point where they are nonexistent anymore in the cities. Many Korean women also wear heels to boost the appearance of their hind sides, and there are very many styles. While the idea is intriguing to me, I find balance to be an issue.

The convenience stores here also sell men and women's underwear by the pair, as well as tights or dress stockings for women. Therefore, I think it is reasonable to assume that this is for really busy people who might forget to change such things, and that having holes in one's stockings is also not okay by Korean standards.

All of this goes back to the ideas of neatness and purity because this is such a family and couples oriented society. This means that because everyone is supposed to be trying to impress their friends, coworkers and bosses, as well as potential dating partners all the time, looking healthy, alert and clean cut seems to be a social necessity at all times. This may explain why Seoul is one of the fashion capitals of the world, next to Paris and New York.

While I appreciate the aesthetics of this culture, I am not trying too hard to fit into them because I don't think I'm expected to, and it would be impossible for me anyway. I do have the convenience of being able to fit into most of the clothing here provided that it is the right size for me, but the idea of having to put on makeup all the time tires me out. And while I have enough clothes, not re-wearing any outfits throughout the week would just contribute to too much laundry. Oh, and I should mention that this personal neatness standard extends to possessions as well. I am apparently expected to clean a very neat and clean desk as well as apartment at all times. I confess to not living up to these expectations much at all, and I feel chagrin much of the time when I realize I am being judged.

However, I will say that I am very happy with the way they cut hair here. While it's not nearly as detailed as Chinese or Taiwanese styles when it comes to layering, the way they cut bangs is very satisfactory, and no salons in the U.S. except maybe in New York can compare. Since I bought contact lenses for myself, I will also say that the way they quickly examine your eyes at the glasses shops and then let you browse through the brands according to prices are very efficient, as well. While I also haven't been yet, I hear that the spas, massages and other cosmetic treatments here are also very cost effective. Cosmetic surgery is a big industry here, and it's actually very common to get work done. However, I'm too vain to think that I would ever need that.

So personal appearances are very much valued. Another nugget is that if a woman is seen with a man, others will start asking questions immediately about whether they are dating. Therefore, the women here either go on group dates where they are just having fun or looking for a partner, or they don't interact with the men in their lives outside of work at all. The only time a woman here interacts with a man outside of work is perhaps if she is giving a man a chance to pursue her. The men are also very aggressive when pursuing women - he may try to monopolize her attention in any way that he can. People socialize with other people of their own gender all the time, though. That is only among heterosexuals. There is not yet a community or culture of homosexuality here in South Korea yet, and if so, it is very much underground. Cheating on a partner one is married to is against the law here.