Combo Finisher - Korea, Year One End

Saying goodbye to the munchkins was a heartrending process. The kids themselves made the work very difficult for someone without experience, but also make it so worth it. Even though the fifth and sixth graders were fairly jaded because they knew two other English teachers before myself, they still expressed sadness at my leaving.

For me, it was the beginning of the end when I translated all those kiddie speeches from Korean - with a lot of help from Google Translate - where I gained a better understanding of what each kid from grades third to sixth cared about from their essays. While coteacher assigned different topics for each grade, every speech was still unique and there was even one about how being wheelchair bound inspires him to become a social worker to help other people like himself. However, my coteacher didn't announce that I was leaving until exactly one week before I had to leave - Thursday.

Since he's probably going to have to take over teaching English for the half a year that Daenam Elementary School will not have a native English teacher, he told me to sit out the Thursdays, whereas before I would lesson plan by either expanding on a topic from the book or feeding the students vocabulary based on my interests. It doesn't make much of a difference time-wise, but it felt like I was less of a teacher. When I'm alone with the kids Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays were taken up by reading story books that I found , including Go, Dog, Go! for the younger kids and Peter Pan (the skeletally diluted version that comes with both a cd and Korean text in the back from EMart) for the older ones. Afterschool was games - who doesn't love games? Especially when I reward the winners with candy or stickers.

After the school day was over though, I cleaned and packed. Cleaning out my dormitory was a conscious process of deciding what's important, so the least important but worth keeping things were packed first. I had four luggages and my backpack and a handful of other bags plus the cat and his things. I did not travel lightly. Every other weekend, I would drag one of these luggages over to a friend's apartment who lives closer to Cheongju. It was the only way that I was able to take everything I wanted on moving day and not fill my coteacher's caravan to the brim. Those decisions weren't the hardest part. The hardest part was scrubbing out all the patches of cat hair mixed with my own hair that were ejected from under the washing machine and had accumulated on the bathroom floor. Grossed out yet?

Between cleaning my dormitory and the English classroom, my students gave me gifts. There were some handwritten letters that I enjoyed, expressing their heartfelt goodbyes. I received a plastic bouquet, a fan, a highlighter, a plastic rose, a mirror, some soap, and a few other things I hadn't had time to open yet. My teachers insisted on a goodbye dinner, though it was the most awkward affair ever, because I can't drink well and had no idea what to say when I'm supposed to make my rounds and toast people. So my coteacher urged me on and I had to stand up and give short speeches. They gave me a bag of Skinfood products. I felt special and popular, all the while knowing that they're just doing this out of courtesy and tradition. That was on Friday.

I even had a final disagreement with my coteacher. He and the administrator were checking my dormitory before the staff goodbye dinner. I had cleaned everything, but because I was still packing, there was clutter in places and my coteacher took one look and said, "No clean?" This was because when Koreans say clean, they mean organized and dust free. I was disappointed that he didn't even look at the areas I did clean, considering I worked so hard. It was part of the reason the staff dinner was so awkward - I wasn't in the mood for it, because I was irritated at him. Skip past Saturday and Sunday where I'm hanging out with English speaking friends - though there was a mildly interesting Korean American Friendship Festival on Sunday in Songtan.

On Monday, I had less clutter, but there were still a few bags on the small kitchen table, and some clothes strewn about the sofa because I was either still using them or planning to use them. Coteacher and administrator checked all the items off the list that they had to make sure everything is still there, but my coteacher still said, "You think this is clean?" gesturing at the kitchen table and the couch. Even the administrator paused and said, "Ooh... Smile again."

Coteacher waited til he was outside then went on to try to say that he wanted me to clear things so that it was like when I arrived, and I explained that everything still out are objects that I'm keeping. I have no sense of timing, because I asked that moment whether I'd still be in a car on my way to Cheongju or a bus since my recruiter had new information on where he wanted to meet. He said if I didn't clean the dormitory AND the English classroom to his satisfaction within the next few hours, then he's no longer driving me - good luck , I'm taking the bus and going alone, which would add roughly three or four hours to my commute.

I listen to him because I was going to do it all anyway, but he was just impatient and wanted it done by a very specific moment on Monday. Still, it didn't feel good, and I walked past them without saying much on my way to the English classroom to clean. It was much easier to deal with than the dormitory - I just put all the waste paper in the can, wiped down the desk and all the tables, swept the floor, then proceeded the mop it with all purpose cleaner. He wanted it to be like before I arrived, so I moved several pieces of furniture, pulled up the blinds and opened all the curtains. - All while singing to songs my friends suggested and dancing with the mop. The adrenaline made my bad mood go away, though it didn't erase this memory.

Tuesday. I get up early to finish packing all the little odds and ends, clothes, toiletries, and others. It takes me two hours to do that and finish with all the cat objects as well as urge him into the carrier. I visit my librarian friend, who also made me something. I sadly bade my goodbyes - she was the only person I can relate to in some form at that school, though the kids are great and the other teachers were all well meaning. Coteacher led me around to say goodbye to every teacher who was around individually, as well as the principal. So there we have it - no more Daenam, unless I actually take up their offer to visit.

On Fear of the Unknown or Misunderstood

This afternoon, because the internet was down and I could no longer in all practicality do any work, I visited my librarian. This was not the same librarian from previous entries, because that helpful woman was moved to another post - nursemaid. This new librarian is four years younger than me, and will continue her study of English when she has enough money to continue her college career. Her English name is Catherine. She confessed that she was afraid of Americans from a somewhat negative prior experience.

When she was at university, one of her professors was this middle aged Korean American woman. However, she didn't really speak any Korean and was actually Americanized enough to have a white husband. Catherine noted that the professor actually doesn't identify herself with being Korean at all, and differentiated herself from native Koreans. She additionally thought that the professor didn't like her because, one time she had requested to turn in an assignment late, but the professor had refused, saying that the deadline was over. Apparently, sometimes Catherine talked to her friends during class, so the professor would pick her to ask her a question; when Catherine didn't understand, the professor would get angry and sometimes lecture her in English. My librarian said that she was scared.

I asked how old the professor was, and she had answered, around forty. Then I told her about culture shock, and how when I first came here, it was hard for me to accept most situations, so it must be even harder for this relatively older woman. Then I reasoned that perhaps some of my students thought that way about me as well, when I yelled at them for not paying attention. Then I told her about the story of how my coteacher and I had come to many misunderstandings. (One of my earlier posts on this blog, actually.) Then I told her about how my principal said that Asians should stick together. I mentioned that since I grew up in the U.S., that white people black people and people of other nationalities are pretty much the same to me once I've actually spoken to them, but that misunderstandings are fairly common because everyone is much more likely to judge the foreign person - especially if that person seems unfriendly for whatever reason.

Then I amended myself, regaling how about maybe two hundred years ago, the U.S. was made of mostly or only white people - and at the time, they were afraid of black people. Once those black people got Americanized, the next people to be feared were the Asians - specifically the Japanese, but sometimes now the Chinese. When they too have been Americanized, currently it is more so the Mexicans and the gay people. She seemed surprised by that, but also felt that gay people were to be feared. (She's a devout Christian, and I get the feeling that it's fairly conservative, not to mention GLBTs have not been able to come out in this country much yet.) The last things I said to her about this topic was that I don't think gay people are all that different either, they just tend to prefer their own gender. And that these feelings and politics are issues that Americans, and probably all countries of the world, will continue struggling with.

I don't hope to change her mind. However, by being friends with her, I hope she realizes that Americans aren't in any sense of the word uniform, and that specific situations and positions of authority can blur things a bit. As for the rest of the ideas about fear and racism, even if she doesn't agree with me, I'm happy that she listened patiently enough. Maybe knowing that these ideas are out there would help her see foreigners and the rest of the world in a different light when next she meets them. I know that for certain that by coming here, I am certainly going through a whole reality of changes that I would otherwise never even have considered.

Ideas on Neatness and Purity

Because of the largely still evident influences from ancient Confucian China, South Korea can be a somewhat traditional society depending on the area of the country you are working in and the number of older Koreans that you have talked to.

In the United States where I'm from, Boston specifically, the standards on neatness and personal cleanliness are more dictated by what is kosher in business. Business casual or more formal is recommended at all times when in the view of one's employees and employers, unless the place you are working for specifically says otherwise or you have a uniform to don every time you go to work.

In South Korea, people are taught from a young age (as young as age five or six), not to have messy hair, or to cover it up with a hat if you do. Stains and lint on one's clothing are marks of bad taste. While no one would say anything about wrinkled shirts, it is not recommended. Many women always wear makeup, especially if they have pimples (which they call "trouble") or birth marks to cover up on their faces. Almost everyone has a fairly developed fashion sense, so one would be hard put to find anyone who wears clothing with clashing colors. This goes for the men as well, though it's true that a certain point after retirement, old women might stop caring nearly as much.

Even the shoes are kept clean. My Korean washing machine has a setting that's just for washing shoes. They make a distinction between outdoor shoes and indoor shoes. While I choose not to abide by it, I'm supposed to wear socks with slippers at work, or these closed toe slippers that is easy to find in any random fashion and school supplies store. My coteacher had told me that it is impolite for people to show bare feet outside of their own homes, but since spring is here and summer is coming, I've been seeing a lot of open toed sandals and even flip flops, so I believe that these social constraints are loosening to the point where they are nonexistent anymore in the cities. Many Korean women also wear heels to boost the appearance of their hind sides, and there are very many styles. While the idea is intriguing to me, I find balance to be an issue.

The convenience stores here also sell men and women's underwear by the pair, as well as tights or dress stockings for women. Therefore, I think it is reasonable to assume that this is for really busy people who might forget to change such things, and that having holes in one's stockings is also not okay by Korean standards.

All of this goes back to the ideas of neatness and purity because this is such a family and couples oriented society. This means that because everyone is supposed to be trying to impress their friends, coworkers and bosses, as well as potential dating partners all the time, looking healthy, alert and clean cut seems to be a social necessity at all times. This may explain why Seoul is one of the fashion capitals of the world, next to Paris and New York.

While I appreciate the aesthetics of this culture, I am not trying too hard to fit into them because I don't think I'm expected to, and it would be impossible for me anyway. I do have the convenience of being able to fit into most of the clothing here provided that it is the right size for me, but the idea of having to put on makeup all the time tires me out. And while I have enough clothes, not re-wearing any outfits throughout the week would just contribute to too much laundry. Oh, and I should mention that this personal neatness standard extends to possessions as well. I am apparently expected to clean a very neat and clean desk as well as apartment at all times. I confess to not living up to these expectations much at all, and I feel chagrin much of the time when I realize I am being judged.

However, I will say that I am very happy with the way they cut hair here. While it's not nearly as detailed as Chinese or Taiwanese styles when it comes to layering, the way they cut bangs is very satisfactory, and no salons in the U.S. except maybe in New York can compare. Since I bought contact lenses for myself, I will also say that the way they quickly examine your eyes at the glasses shops and then let you browse through the brands according to prices are very efficient, as well. While I also haven't been yet, I hear that the spas, massages and other cosmetic treatments here are also very cost effective. Cosmetic surgery is a big industry here, and it's actually very common to get work done. However, I'm too vain to think that I would ever need that.

So personal appearances are very much valued. Another nugget is that if a woman is seen with a man, others will start asking questions immediately about whether they are dating. Therefore, the women here either go on group dates where they are just having fun or looking for a partner, or they don't interact with the men in their lives outside of work at all. The only time a woman here interacts with a man outside of work is perhaps if she is giving a man a chance to pursue her. The men are also very aggressive when pursuing women - he may try to monopolize her attention in any way that he can. People socialize with other people of their own gender all the time, though. That is only among heterosexuals. There is not yet a community or culture of homosexuality here in South Korea yet, and if so, it is very much underground. Cheating on a partner one is married to is against the law here.

Field Day II

At least I thought we were finished. When I asked Mr. Jeong whether I can go home early, he declined, saying that there was a company dinner that I had to go to. So after the parents and kids all left, the teachers packed up in a car and went to this restaurant fifteen minutes away by driving. It was Friday, and I wished I could go hang somewhere else, but ... what can you do. So we all showed up, and I was driven by the librarian. We all parked, went in, and took off our shoes.

I sat next to the fourth grade teacher on the left, librarian to the right. We sat cross legged in front of a low table, and it was a few minutes before the waitress came to give our table the food. There was live octopus, sashimi, some noodles they called japchae and stuff. But I barely remember the food, because of what happened next.

After a parent gave a toast to the school for being successful, everyone drank, and I had to too, even though I keep making clear that I get trashed beyond easily, and it's generally not a good idea. So I drank, and got red in the face within a flat five minutes, only to be remedied later with rice and hot fish soup. Before that, though, Mr. Jeong talked to the second grade teacher and they toasted again. She made him stay in the same place, even though he wanted to go back to his wife. Then because he's drunk, he started telling me that he thought I was ignoring him because he was bad at English. And that he was mentally comparing me with the previous foreign English teacher, at which point I tell him that everyone's been comparing me to her, not just him. He paused, at which point I looked up struggle in the Eng-Kor dictionary and showed it to him, pointing at myself. He said he was beginning to understand, and I was a little tired and overwhelmed by mostly the sohju but also what he said, so I couldn't stop myself, bowed and went off to cry.

Someone noticed, and then in a few minutes, everyone knew that I was crying. And they were all asking why, and trying to comfort me, which actually made it worse. It was so very embarassing. And I felt bad that the principal came over and started comforting me more, saying how it's all a lot to get used to, Asians should stick together, that he was honored I'm working at his school, and ... a lot of flattering stuff I felt I did not deserve. Especially since I'm still learning to be a teacher.

One of the special education teachers drove the principal and me home. I was tired, embarassed, largely overwhelmed, and just emotionally drained. And I tried my best to pretend none of that happened the next time I saw all of them, which was Monday. And thankfully, they were all eager to pretend nothing happened, too. Over the weekend, I approached Mr. Jeong to tell him there were a lot of things I couldn't explain, that I'm sorry, and he gave me some grapes. An awkward man who I can't hate, I guess.

Being An Alien

Some time ago, as per immigration office procedures, my coteacher drove me to the nearest hospital - which turns out to be like two towns over. Long drives like that accentuate the awkward relationship between my coteacher Mr. Jeong and myself, because on the one hand, he doesn't want to get too friendly (it's fairly conservative here) - being a husband with a young wife and two kids - but on the other hand, it gets really awkward in silence if no one says anything for more than ten minutes.

So we arrive at some place called Siheung, and that's apparently where the hospital is. I follow Mr. Jeong around, because I can't read any of the signs or understand any of the people, so I can't sign in and listen to instructions on my own. So he asks at the info desk, and then we go up an escalator to the second floor, where he looks for the occupational health department. He fills out the form for me, asking for my blood type and other vital information.

We make small talk over food and whatever else comes to mind. It occurs to me that this guy is closer to me than my father ever will be. It makes me sad and a little wistful.

I feel displaced, somewhat lost, but not bad. First they take my blood pressure and temperature. They take an X-ray of my lungs and spine. I had to pee in a cup, awkwardly carrying it back out until I put it in a tray, where they tell me to make a fist. I watch them draw blood through a syringe, wondering why blood bubbles when you take it out like that. It's more crimson than cranberry juice, almost maroon.

Because they can't make me understand in their language, they have to show me, but pointing, poking, prodding, guiding me in the right directions. Next time, my coteacher still has to hand in my alien registration papers.

Curriculum

So my schedule goes something like this.

I teach "morning English" every day of the week, twenty minutes before actual classes when I think of a simple game for kids of all ages involving English. So far, I've only come up with a song to sing, Hangman, Simon Says, and because Friday I was feeling lazy, I just let them watch Looney Tunes instead.

Then on Mondays and Wednesdays, I teach gym classes. So far, I've had them play tag and soccer, and haven't thought of anything much else yet. Mr. Jeong says that I should go by the textbooks and use English to teach them stretches and strengthen them through obstacle courses, except that I'm not sure how to go about that, so I will need to think of something soon. Monday's three periods are for grades one through three, whereas Wednesdays are for grades four through six.

There's also the afterschool activities, but these are kind of casual, no one really cares what I do with them, so sometimes they convince me to let them go outside, or just hang out, or something or other. But I also try to have them review the things they learned throughout the day through word games and such.

The goal is to have conversational English, so there are a lot of skits and role playing. The more talented ones can memorize the lines and act them out immediately, whereas most of them read them out loud from the "script". To make things fun, multimedia is almost always used - from sing alongs to memory games with prizes to whatever else we can think of. The main classes are through Mr. Jeong, so I don't actually assign homework - and this is perfectly fine with me.

Coteacher

After obtaining Korean currency, I rented a phone to call my only contact in South Korea - waking him up at about 6:30 to 7 in the morning. He reminded me that there are internet kiosks that I could use, so I went to one, checked my email, and sent out a help email telling my recruiter that I'm in South Korea now - please pick me up. She replied a moment later, thankfully, which means that the friend I phoned originally would not have to pick me up after work. It turns out that my recruiters basically forgot about me. So then there was nothing to do but sit and wait.

Meanwhile, I ate the food that I procured in order to get change to use the internet kiosks - a Japanese styled rice ball and some coconut juice. People came and went. I managed to calm down, since I had called my friend because I plugged in my laptop to try to find an internet connection and send out an email that way, but my laptop died a total of three times. In a panic, I had asked to use the laptop of some Cantonese people from Hong Kong nearby, effectively mooching off of them for a few minutes. They were kind enough not to completely mind. Three hours later, Daniel the recruiter arrived.

He quickly piled me and my luggage into his car, and drove forth. I talked a lot during this time, because I thought he was my coteacher, and also, it was a concerted effort to relax more. We got to Daenam Elementary School within a few hours. He picked my luggage up and settled me into my room, and then introduced me to everyone relevant, including my coteacher, Mr. Jeong. At that time, I was a bit tired, and couldn't absorb any of it. Anyhow, that day I didn't need to teach anything but the afterschool class for the first to third graders.

While settling in, I received a phone call from whoever asking for Daniel. I thought that Mr. Jeong was Daniel, and so asked him to answer, interrupting his class. For some reason, I also jumped to the conclusion that it was his wife on the phone. This greatly displeased him. I can't really explain this behavior, except to say that my travels had left me disoriented. Anyhow, Mr. Jeong had a talk with me later, and we had that sorted out.

I had no idea what to do with the kids during that afterschool time. It was a source of stress for me, so I overprepared. I had them read a dialogue about McDonald's, whereupon they agreed, but also protesting that it was an afterschool program and so wanted a game. I took away their distractions - cell phones, stuffed animals, caps - only giving them back at the end of the day. The morning English periods were a source of stress for me too, so the first morning, I had them sing "Good Morning", which struck me as very awkward. It will take me another evening and a half to get used to these proceedings.