Cycles of the Moon

During quieter moments, I often wonder how life would be different for me if I were Korean and had to go through this school system. They study roughly sixteen to eighteen hours a day. Up until recently, that included Saturdays as well, which means only one resting day. Aside from art class, most of the curriculum is comprised of memorizing ginormous amounts of information. I have no doubt that were I in one of their places, I would be much less likely to be the writer I am today. Their legal system is completely different, so I would imagine the whole process of getting published is also completely different. I love their equivalent of Borders, though.

Nevertheless, they are who they are, and I am myself. Once more a semester has ended, and another new one has begun. Most of it is the same, but I have two new textbooks to teach to fairly low level kids. Aside from the usual grappling against altering my own style to suit these books, there are a few more challenges this semester. One of them is the familiar challenge of kids staring at me because they have no idea what I'm talking about - I'm just the strange foreigner who's telling them what to do and they're trying to figure it out. The other is that since Sean quit, everyone in the office has at least one day per week where we teach five classes in a row. This makes for really long days, and for me, they are Monday and Thursday.

Some students leveled up, and others didn't. Every class is new, because there is at least one kid I don't know. But there is a comfort level with the kids that I do know. The other challenge is that not all the textbooks came at the same time, so there are some classes where we had to basically make up some random thing for them to do. The head teacher decided to make them write a self introduction essay and then present it. I got called in for a talking to because some kids said others were playing with their cell phones, and also some say I was under prepared. It's not just the kids who don't have books sometimes, though - we teachers don't get copies of the books for some classes.

In terms of personal challenges, sometimes I feel that maybe because Koreans grew up in such a competitive society, they get used to acting like they always have something to prove. Literally everything is a competition. Today I was told that it's common for students to put their test scores on their resumes for consideration by colleges, and then later, as graduates for consideration by jobs. Everyone seems to have a do or die attitude.

The academy owner likes to annoy me by keeping close tabs and coming into my classes in attempts to point out things that I've missed. For example, after I got a talking to about some students playing with their phones, he caught someone and took the student's phone in front of me. I'm sure that in his mind, he's trying to help and this is his way of motivating me or something, but I really just feel harassed.

Then I feel like this is the way this society works. If someone higher than you in status feels like you're not doing something that you ought to, they'll just harass and alternatively make your life miserable until you hide all your feelings of scorn and contempt for them, even if you take only the most minimalist steps in doing what they want.

From what I gather, the whole atmosphere when it comes to foreigners has become somewhat more hostile. Because another coworker is quitting soon, the academy owner is urging us to turn our documents in to him again, to make sure that the organization has hold of our visas, with the excuse that it's an order from the government. The government itself is making the contracts of even the public school teachers much more dependent on their staying for the entire duration of the contract. In somewhat related news, I just got my national criminal background check, but I wonder if it's worth the effort to find another job in this country if it means staying here for a longer period of time.

Tale of Two Countries

While we were all going about our normal business during the first week of the private academy semester, Kim Jong Il went kaput in his slew of age and heart related health problems. The hapless North Koreans put their Dear Leader in a glass box for mourning like Snow White, but I'm guessing he'll soon be six feet under. Before taking his last breath, he appointed his second son Kim Jong Un as heir, who expressed potentially hostile intent towards South Korea.

This conflict has been around for about sixty years. To pick a random point to begin, Japan defeated China in the Sino-Japanese War and then decided to occupy Korea like squatters to better watch its interests in China. After the Chinese were defeated, they went back to civil war between the Communists and the Nationalists. The Koreans took the side of the Communists, in return for help in uprooting the Japanese from their country.

As the Koreans and the Chinese worked together to get rid of the Japanese, the Japanese were trying to expand their territory further into China. The European countries had all divided China into their little spheres of influence, and were basically like, who invited you to the party? However, Europe was having its own problems as well, what with Germany having allied itself with Soviet Russia and then going to invade Poland. Then Britain, France and the rest of the Commonwealth decided that was not okay and went to war against Germany and Soviet Russia. The U.S. allied itself with Britain, France and the Commonwealth, and there you have it, World War 2.

After defeating the Japanese and taking away its military, the U.S. and Russia split Korea in half along the 38th parallel. The two bigger countries were supposed to help Korea establish its own government, but the Russians never let North Korea hold free elections and it became a communist dictatorship, first under Kim Il Sung, then Kim Jong Il. Meanwhile, South Korea has a democracy heavily influenced by corporations and reliant on American military despite the existence of its own draft army.

In 1950, North Korea invaded South Korea. They got to Busan and were trying to establish a new capital, before the U.S. pushed them back almost to the Yalu River. Then the Chinese entered on North Korea's side and pushed again south to the 38th parallel. Such was the Korean War. Ever since then, there have been miniature conflicts: a ship destroyed here, the North Koreans digging tunnels and the South Koreans having to play whack-a-mole there.

Now Kim Jong Il died. Enter Kim Jong Un, age 29, who was educated in Switzerland under a fake name.

My kids tell me they are afraid of war. Some adults are concerned, but others say, they have been threatening war for years. They don't have the guts. There's also the fact that the U.S. military is still active in this country, and are living in army bases in several major cities. That's the South Korean viewpoint. I've heard a secondhand North Korean perspective where they believe the South Koreans are not being true to their roots, are greedy for shiny things and controlled by American culture.

I personally am not too worried myself, and don't think anything will happen in the next ten months. If anything does happen though, I'll probably take a rest stop in China then make my merry way home. The U.S. should be rallying its resources to fix its economy, take care of the problems behind Occupy Wall Street and shaking down the uber-rich (people with $600,000+ incomes per year) for resources anyway. While I support our troops, this is like trying to save a friend from a bully while trying to fend off asthma.

Occupying Seoul (Yeoido)

America always has a lot of media attention from every country in the world, mostly because our international policy is to stick our nose in for what we think is right and sway the other members of the United Nations on various issues and movements whenever possible. This is old news. So it's no surprise that the entire world also has an eye on our economic and financial troubles; everyone knows that the American unemployment rate is at an all time high.

As per the power of the internet, I had first heard about the Occupy Wall Street movement through a lot of pictorial jokes on Facebook, which probably came from some graphic designers and people on 4chan. I knew that many people have been angry with Wall Street and Obama since the U.S. government organized the bank bail-out, but it wasn't until one of my Facebook friends posted a link on my wall about the movement that I connected the two and really started looking into it. I didn't understand it, because that particular link didn't give a very good representation of why people were protesting, and that the speaker sounded like he might have been high on weed didn't help either.

This link, however, clarifies the picture quite a bit and was far more persuasive, but I only saw this article after I went to the Occupy Seoul (at Yeoido) protest to do a little on-the-spot journalism to see what it was about. For a disclaimer, I will say that this is the first time I've ever been to a protest. I was a little nervous about participating because I realized this was a controversial topic. I also wasn't sure what the entire ramifications were for a Chinese American foreigner like me to contribute to this cause in this country, even though I agree with the core gist of the message, which was that financial inequality is everywhere so we as a citizenry rely on our governments to regulate giant banks and CEOs and stem the corruption.

In addition, I am aware of the counterarguments against protesting against financial institutions and the entire Occupy Wall Street movement as a whole. Here is one example. This argument states that everyone should take personal responsibility for their money; the American economy is so terrible right now because the majority of people go into debt from overspending and neglecting their bookkeeping. My friend Amy also has another perspective here.

My opinion is that, while this is true, it is nearly impossible to do if you didn't start out healthy (like if you had some genetic disease or disability) or have a family, in which case spontaneous events may keep you from saving money. I am lucky enough myself to have been born healthy, and I worked since the age of fifteen and went to a state university, so I had saved up enough money to become debt free roughly a year after graduation. Second disclaimer: I had a lot of help from my immediate family and one of my ex-boyfriends. (We're still good friends, but that's a whole other story.)

I went with my friend Mary Garcia (not her real name) and she had this green paper sign that said, "American Citizen + American Education + American Student Loans + A Lack of American Jobs = Sad American". She also participated in a handful of interviews. I refused to say anything in an interview to any of the reporters because I am not protesting any Korean financial institutions, and as I've said before, I am not sure what the full ramifications for a Chinese American to be protesting on foreign soil are. I went to the protest because I agree with the core message of the Occupy Wall Street protesters, want to support those people back home (as is true with my friend Mary Garcia) and wanted to see how this event would happen, because I'm pretty sure this will be a memorable moment in history. Citizens in a handful of different countries banding together to protest the same thing is something that I haven't heard or read about before.

 It was drizzling, but a large crowd of Korean people were there. They were chanting "We are the 99%! Occupy Yeoido!" both in Korean and then in English. Many people had signs. Though a majority of them were in Korean, a few were in English. Some even had on Scream or Vendetta masks, to protect their identities. At times, there was a man rapping in Korean. A woman's voice was leading the protesters, and a bunch of old Korean women were kneeling under the cover of the entrance to a building. Between these women and the doors of the building were a line of riot control Korean police - just in case, I guess. There were some other foreigners there too, mostly Americans and a few from other different parts of the world. Reporters from several different news stations were going around interviewing people. There were more foreigners interviewed than Korean people, so I was all the more suspicious about what the Korean press was going to say about this event and movement.

One reporter, after interviewing Mary, asked for my phone number so she can follow up on the interview, since my friend lied and told her that she had no phone. I gave her my phone number with an "Don't make me lose my job now..." but asked to be anonymous and refused an interview myself on the basis that I don't know what my employers would think. There was also one man who pointed a video camera at me without asking first, so I very warily said hi and then basically waved him away. I assumed he only got the end of what I was saying when I explained to another man - who was a reporter, but wasn't taking notes - that I agree with this movement because there is classism all over the world, and government regulation may help every country's economy a little bit.

We didn't stay for the entire time but I'm sure many Koreans are still there. When we were eating dinner back in Daejeon at a fusion Japanese noodle place, we saw on tv that the protest at Seoul Station was much larger, and it is still going on. I have my photos from the Yeoido portion of the event, which I uploaded to Facebook and may upload to my DeviantArt as well. This was Lily, reporting not-live on her blog at a friend's apartment in Daejeon, South Korea.

An Intersection of Culture in Everyone

DISCLAIMER: If I stereotype people or sound racist at any time during this post, I'm sorry and I don't mean any harm. It's just to get a point across.

Taking a taxi cab ride back from Shihwa Emart, I had yet another conversation with another driver - probably because driving a taxi is not the most exciting job on the planet, so they enjoy talking to their clients when there's something interesting about them, and when their language skills are up to par. This time it was because I had in arm a box of cleaning supplies half my size, so taking the bus to downtown Daebudo would not be enough to get me home even though I have a bike parked there at the moment. This driver, like a handful of other drivers, asked me where I was from, and then whether I was Korean American.

Conversations like these happen to me a lot. I hypothesize that, aside from a few key areas in Seoul, there aren't that many foreigners in Korean daily life - especially not out here, in the countryside, and they're curious. So after I tell them, no, I'm Chinese American, I get a range of reactions. Usually, it would be disinterest, and then the conversation would be over. I never knew why until today. This driver told me that he felt Koreans judged the Chinese based on the few handful of them who have immigrated here to South Korea for a better quality of life. The Korean Chinese people he's met, he told me, didn't seem very intelligent.

You can imagine why this was a very odd thing for me to hear. I didn't debate with him because I lacked the communication skills and didn't want to offend him, but I really didn't understand how the Chinese in mainland China would be all that different from Korean Chinese people if all they did was immigrate here. Let me take a moment here to clarify what I think are the key differences in Chinese culture and Korean culture today. (All Asians look the same! It's such an old joke, really.)

The old Confucian beliefs in ancestor worship, bowing and the idea that elders know better are rapidly dying in China now, whereas they seem to be very much alive in South Korea. While the Chinese government has been carefully monitoring the internet for fear of dissension, internet freedom is so free here that there are almost no copyright laws, which means that most international media creators won't allow a lot of their work here for fear that it'd be stolen. The feminist movement is far more under way in China than it is here in South Korea. The Chinese trade industry focuses on whatever it can get its hands on, whereas the South Korean trade focuses on computers, cars, televisions and small electronics. Chinese cooking is very varied, and there aren't nearly as many side dishes. So these are a few differences. (I can't tell the difference between Irish, Scottish and Swedish either, honestly. Sorry, Europeans.)

Swinging back to what the taxi driver was saying, hearing that he thought Korean Chinese aren't very bright is a huge contrast to back home where Asian people - the majority of which are Chinese Americans - are the model minority. The stereotype probably came from wealthy Chinese families who kept the academic culture of severely pushing their children to achieve high grades because they believe in the value of education. This still exists to some extent today (further extrapolated on in Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother). However, most Chinese American parents I've met are more like mine - there's a lot of nagging to do well in school, but rarely are there beatings, and the parenting style is moreso an overwhelming - overbearing? haha - concern rather than a domineering strictness where failure is met with punishment.

My parents, unlike most Chinese American parents, however, are still starkly Maoist-Communist. It's an odd ideology to come home to, when the chapter in World History from eighth grade was mainly about how (before China was invaded by Japan and millions of both Korean and Chinese women were made into comfort women) Mao Zedong was rapidly destroying China through his Five Year Plans because he didn't actually know anything about mining or that kind of technology, and millions of people were starving because they were trying to keep up with his quotas. Or the way he grew old and senile and paranoid, so he killed a lot of people who he thought was trying to wrestle power from him.

What my mother grew up in, however, was a beautifully engineered propaganda program where people's lives were great and prosperous because of Mao's ideas, and furthermore, most importantly, they were united with strong family values. Family is family, and a bunch of families together form a community, and these are the things that people relied on, in a fast-paced world of industrialization, Westernization, communism-to-capitalism ideology and globalization. This is similar to the way I grew up being told that I can be whatever I want to be, life is going to be easy because I'm an American, and that all I really need to do is be curious, learn, and do a lot of soul searching. (How's that economy holding up, America? If the rich still refuse to pay taxes and help, and there are still no jobs being created, some Robin Hoods are going to start popping up everywhere.)

This cab driver wasn't interested in America, like most of the other drivers were. He told me he really respected the Chinese, because they are a strong and humble people. (I thanked him, but is that really true? I'm not mainland Chinese enough to actually know?) He thought that my parents must have had a strict upbringing, therefore I must have had one too. (I said I did, but not really - I was never beaten, and my mother's main concern was that I don't starve. I eat! Why doesn't anyone believe me?)

My mother probably had a strict childhood, though. She was the only girl among three brothers, so while she can take rough and tumble like any tomboy, she was the designated secondary caretaker in the family when my grandmother was ill or otherwise absent. The oldest son was allowed to go to London with my grandfather to get a European education and get interested in computers. So my mother did all the yelling and screaming and disciplining, which means that she must have had to have been the model child. The humility part might have been true of my mother - she accepted everything life threw at her, wrapping her mind around everything she couldn't understand or change; the only place she would have things absolutely her way was the kitchen.

This is as opposed to the American international policy, where we must have our way everywhere because we must know better. In my country's defense, Americans have really good intentions to the point of almost being naive. Or opposed to the South Korean policy towards all foreigners: our country, our rules, and we don't really care if it doesn't make sense to you, as long as it makes sense to us. But your army still needs to stay here to protect us from the North Koreans, because we can't talk to them when that crazy man is running things over there. Or even the Chinese international policy: did you want to buy something from us? If yes, fabulous, if no, well what did you want? We have a hard enough time dealing with our factories, pollution and overpopulation as is, we don't care about your country's take on how we're doing things, screw off. Shut up about human rights, worry about your own like Walmart and Microsoft and McDonalds first. We don't want to hear it.

I'm Chinese American. When most people look at me, they see an Asian woman. When they talk to me, I find that they tend to emphasize one of my cultures over the other. When I look at myself, I see an American heavily influenced by Chinese ideas in a small, moderately active Southeast Asian body. When I talk to myself, I think I should learn Mandarin - I speak Cantonese - and write the language so that I can either become an interpreter, a teacher or a cutthroat businesswoman.

(Said in an old lady's voice with mock Chinese accent - One More Thing: We might have talked before, I can't remember ...)