An Intersection of Culture in Everyone

DISCLAIMER: If I stereotype people or sound racist at any time during this post, I'm sorry and I don't mean any harm. It's just to get a point across.

Taking a taxi cab ride back from Shihwa Emart, I had yet another conversation with another driver - probably because driving a taxi is not the most exciting job on the planet, so they enjoy talking to their clients when there's something interesting about them, and when their language skills are up to par. This time it was because I had in arm a box of cleaning supplies half my size, so taking the bus to downtown Daebudo would not be enough to get me home even though I have a bike parked there at the moment. This driver, like a handful of other drivers, asked me where I was from, and then whether I was Korean American.

Conversations like these happen to me a lot. I hypothesize that, aside from a few key areas in Seoul, there aren't that many foreigners in Korean daily life - especially not out here, in the countryside, and they're curious. So after I tell them, no, I'm Chinese American, I get a range of reactions. Usually, it would be disinterest, and then the conversation would be over. I never knew why until today. This driver told me that he felt Koreans judged the Chinese based on the few handful of them who have immigrated here to South Korea for a better quality of life. The Korean Chinese people he's met, he told me, didn't seem very intelligent.

You can imagine why this was a very odd thing for me to hear. I didn't debate with him because I lacked the communication skills and didn't want to offend him, but I really didn't understand how the Chinese in mainland China would be all that different from Korean Chinese people if all they did was immigrate here. Let me take a moment here to clarify what I think are the key differences in Chinese culture and Korean culture today. (All Asians look the same! It's such an old joke, really.)

The old Confucian beliefs in ancestor worship, bowing and the idea that elders know better are rapidly dying in China now, whereas they seem to be very much alive in South Korea. While the Chinese government has been carefully monitoring the internet for fear of dissension, internet freedom is so free here that there are almost no copyright laws, which means that most international media creators won't allow a lot of their work here for fear that it'd be stolen. The feminist movement is far more under way in China than it is here in South Korea. The Chinese trade industry focuses on whatever it can get its hands on, whereas the South Korean trade focuses on computers, cars, televisions and small electronics. Chinese cooking is very varied, and there aren't nearly as many side dishes. So these are a few differences. (I can't tell the difference between Irish, Scottish and Swedish either, honestly. Sorry, Europeans.)

Swinging back to what the taxi driver was saying, hearing that he thought Korean Chinese aren't very bright is a huge contrast to back home where Asian people - the majority of which are Chinese Americans - are the model minority. The stereotype probably came from wealthy Chinese families who kept the academic culture of severely pushing their children to achieve high grades because they believe in the value of education. This still exists to some extent today (further extrapolated on in Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother). However, most Chinese American parents I've met are more like mine - there's a lot of nagging to do well in school, but rarely are there beatings, and the parenting style is moreso an overwhelming - overbearing? haha - concern rather than a domineering strictness where failure is met with punishment.

My parents, unlike most Chinese American parents, however, are still starkly Maoist-Communist. It's an odd ideology to come home to, when the chapter in World History from eighth grade was mainly about how (before China was invaded by Japan and millions of both Korean and Chinese women were made into comfort women) Mao Zedong was rapidly destroying China through his Five Year Plans because he didn't actually know anything about mining or that kind of technology, and millions of people were starving because they were trying to keep up with his quotas. Or the way he grew old and senile and paranoid, so he killed a lot of people who he thought was trying to wrestle power from him.

What my mother grew up in, however, was a beautifully engineered propaganda program where people's lives were great and prosperous because of Mao's ideas, and furthermore, most importantly, they were united with strong family values. Family is family, and a bunch of families together form a community, and these are the things that people relied on, in a fast-paced world of industrialization, Westernization, communism-to-capitalism ideology and globalization. This is similar to the way I grew up being told that I can be whatever I want to be, life is going to be easy because I'm an American, and that all I really need to do is be curious, learn, and do a lot of soul searching. (How's that economy holding up, America? If the rich still refuse to pay taxes and help, and there are still no jobs being created, some Robin Hoods are going to start popping up everywhere.)

This cab driver wasn't interested in America, like most of the other drivers were. He told me he really respected the Chinese, because they are a strong and humble people. (I thanked him, but is that really true? I'm not mainland Chinese enough to actually know?) He thought that my parents must have had a strict upbringing, therefore I must have had one too. (I said I did, but not really - I was never beaten, and my mother's main concern was that I don't starve. I eat! Why doesn't anyone believe me?)

My mother probably had a strict childhood, though. She was the only girl among three brothers, so while she can take rough and tumble like any tomboy, she was the designated secondary caretaker in the family when my grandmother was ill or otherwise absent. The oldest son was allowed to go to London with my grandfather to get a European education and get interested in computers. So my mother did all the yelling and screaming and disciplining, which means that she must have had to have been the model child. The humility part might have been true of my mother - she accepted everything life threw at her, wrapping her mind around everything she couldn't understand or change; the only place she would have things absolutely her way was the kitchen.

This is as opposed to the American international policy, where we must have our way everywhere because we must know better. In my country's defense, Americans have really good intentions to the point of almost being naive. Or opposed to the South Korean policy towards all foreigners: our country, our rules, and we don't really care if it doesn't make sense to you, as long as it makes sense to us. But your army still needs to stay here to protect us from the North Koreans, because we can't talk to them when that crazy man is running things over there. Or even the Chinese international policy: did you want to buy something from us? If yes, fabulous, if no, well what did you want? We have a hard enough time dealing with our factories, pollution and overpopulation as is, we don't care about your country's take on how we're doing things, screw off. Shut up about human rights, worry about your own like Walmart and Microsoft and McDonalds first. We don't want to hear it.

I'm Chinese American. When most people look at me, they see an Asian woman. When they talk to me, I find that they tend to emphasize one of my cultures over the other. When I look at myself, I see an American heavily influenced by Chinese ideas in a small, moderately active Southeast Asian body. When I talk to myself, I think I should learn Mandarin - I speak Cantonese - and write the language so that I can either become an interpreter, a teacher or a cutthroat businesswoman.

(Said in an old lady's voice with mock Chinese accent - One More Thing: We might have talked before, I can't remember ...)