On Fear of the Unknown or Misunderstood

This afternoon, because the internet was down and I could no longer in all practicality do any work, I visited my librarian. This was not the same librarian from previous entries, because that helpful woman was moved to another post - nursemaid. This new librarian is four years younger than me, and will continue her study of English when she has enough money to continue her college career. Her English name is Catherine. She confessed that she was afraid of Americans from a somewhat negative prior experience.

When she was at university, one of her professors was this middle aged Korean American woman. However, she didn't really speak any Korean and was actually Americanized enough to have a white husband. Catherine noted that the professor actually doesn't identify herself with being Korean at all, and differentiated herself from native Koreans. She additionally thought that the professor didn't like her because, one time she had requested to turn in an assignment late, but the professor had refused, saying that the deadline was over. Apparently, sometimes Catherine talked to her friends during class, so the professor would pick her to ask her a question; when Catherine didn't understand, the professor would get angry and sometimes lecture her in English. My librarian said that she was scared.

I asked how old the professor was, and she had answered, around forty. Then I told her about culture shock, and how when I first came here, it was hard for me to accept most situations, so it must be even harder for this relatively older woman. Then I reasoned that perhaps some of my students thought that way about me as well, when I yelled at them for not paying attention. Then I told her about the story of how my coteacher and I had come to many misunderstandings. (One of my earlier posts on this blog, actually.) Then I told her about how my principal said that Asians should stick together. I mentioned that since I grew up in the U.S., that white people black people and people of other nationalities are pretty much the same to me once I've actually spoken to them, but that misunderstandings are fairly common because everyone is much more likely to judge the foreign person - especially if that person seems unfriendly for whatever reason.

Then I amended myself, regaling how about maybe two hundred years ago, the U.S. was made of mostly or only white people - and at the time, they were afraid of black people. Once those black people got Americanized, the next people to be feared were the Asians - specifically the Japanese, but sometimes now the Chinese. When they too have been Americanized, currently it is more so the Mexicans and the gay people. She seemed surprised by that, but also felt that gay people were to be feared. (She's a devout Christian, and I get the feeling that it's fairly conservative, not to mention GLBTs have not been able to come out in this country much yet.) The last things I said to her about this topic was that I don't think gay people are all that different either, they just tend to prefer their own gender. And that these feelings and politics are issues that Americans, and probably all countries of the world, will continue struggling with.

I don't hope to change her mind. However, by being friends with her, I hope she realizes that Americans aren't in any sense of the word uniform, and that specific situations and positions of authority can blur things a bit. As for the rest of the ideas about fear and racism, even if she doesn't agree with me, I'm happy that she listened patiently enough. Maybe knowing that these ideas are out there would help her see foreigners and the rest of the world in a different light when next she meets them. I know that for certain that by coming here, I am certainly going through a whole reality of changes that I would otherwise never even have considered.